just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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