She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
