Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
