i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
