I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
