tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize