Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
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Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
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it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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