I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Randomize
