my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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