Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
