and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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