in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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