yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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