fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
