is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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