I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
