There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
