Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
