You don't have asthma, your pregnant
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
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