Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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