who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
