Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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