Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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