i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
