Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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