just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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