Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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