I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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