I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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