Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
