Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
