After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Randomize
