You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
