I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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