My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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