I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
