so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize