bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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