Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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