Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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