you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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