There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
