3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Even my vagina gasped.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
