I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
We need to feng shui this bitch.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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