Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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