he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
