Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
