I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
