hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
