I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
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