umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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