Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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