we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
