What did we do last night that was yellow?
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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