Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
