I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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