so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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