Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
