that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
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