I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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