BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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