I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
