guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
