I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
