Well apparently he's into motor boating.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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